A Belarus Bride
We are a personal service introduction and marriage agency helping men who seek a beautiful Russian woman from Belarus to be their bride.
Just for your information, we use the terms Belarus girls, Russian girls, Russian women, and Belarus women interchangeably. All Belarus women are Russian women. Belarus means "White Russia." It's an old name from the Czarist times.
September, 2005 Newsletter Archive
We've got members all over the place!
Ye, who enter these gates without a sense of humor, abandon all hope!
And remember:
"Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt.
And dance like no one is watching."
Thursday, September 1, 2005.
We have a cool, almost Fall like morning here in Akron Ohio. Chris sent us a nice joke to help us wake up....Thanks Bud!
Little Johnny came home early from school one day. When he opened the front door he heard noises coming from his mothers room upstairs. He quietly went up to see what was going on and found his parents having sex. His dad noticed him and was shocked. Not wanting to break his stride, he told little Johnny to hop on his back for a game of "horsey" With pleasure, little Johnny got on his fathers back. By this time his mother was breathing heavily and making loud noises. Little Johnny said, "Hang on dad! This is the part where me and the milk man usually get thrown off!!!!"
I love those "milk-man" jokes. How many of us ever see a real "milk-man" anymore? Well, here in the USA not many. But....Believe it or not, we do! Our neighbor has a "milk-man", he delivers each and every week to their home. How about that for nastalgia?
Here's something we don't see much in our little town...too bad....
Hey! Put someone to work today, and....Have A Damn Fine Day!
Friday, September 2, 2005.
Happy Friday! We have the Labor Day holiday this weekend here in the USA, and we have a beautiful morning here in Akron Ohio.
One of our favorite English mates has a birthday on Monday, and we want to wish Rob a Wonderful Birthday! Hitting 25 or so Rob? :-) Perhaps a bit "North" of 25.....Anyway.....
Happy Birthday Rob!
It won't be too long now till Rob & Inna are together for the first time in Vitebsk....And we can't wait till that happens!
Here's another nice little joke from Clint & Maryna....Thanks Guys!
The things kids say.....
DRESS-UP
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw
her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that
suit."
"And why not, darling?" "You know that it always gives you a headache
the next morning.
SCHOOL
A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just wasting
my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write and they
won't let me talk!"
BIBLE
A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he
fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He
picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had
been pressed in between the pages. "Mama, look what I found", the boy called
out." What have you got there, dear?" With astonishment in the young boy's
voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear.
Hey! Make sure you........
Have A Damn Fine Weekend!
Saturday, September 3, 2005.
We're stopping by here today to welcome 2 new members to our group! We have a tradition around here....We always post the National Flag of the new member's country when we welcome him to the group. It's fun....and once in a while we learn some interesting facts about that particular country.
First, we would like to welcome Mark to the group. Mark lives in Texas, he happens to be a nice guy, and he's another one of our members who has an interesting line of work. As a matter of fact, we use some of the computer products Mark's company produces. Small world!
So......
WELCOME MARK!
OK Mark....You know life is about to get a lot more exciting Bud!
We also want to welcome Neil to the group today. Neil hails from Scotland, he's also a very nice guy....and he also has an interesting line of work. We got on the computer and checked-out his town, they have a real nice web-site....and we have to tell you....Scotland is a stunning place. Seriously nice!
Scotland is also rich in history as we all know, and they happen to have 2 beautiful National Flags. Here's the story.....
The Scottish flag is the cross of St. Andrew, also known as the Saltire. It is said to be one of the oldest national flags of any country, dating back at least to the 12th century.
Tradition suggests that St. Andrew (an apostle of Jesus in the Christian religion) was put to death by the Romans in Greece by being pinned to a cross of this shape.
The flag of the United Kingdom - known as the Union Flag or Union Jack - is made up from the flags of Scotland , England (the Cross of Saint George) and Ireland (the Cross of Saint Patrick).
There is a second flag which is associated with Scotland , the "Rampant Lion", or Royal Flag of Scotland. Although based on an older Scottish flag than the St. Andrew's cross, it should, strictly speaking, now only be used by the monarch in relation to her capacity as Queen in Scotland¹. However, it is widely used as a second national flag.
The Rampant Lion flag flies over the offices of the Secretary of State for Scotland (who is the representative of the U.K. government in Scotland ); that is Dover House in London and New St Andrew's House in Edinburgh .
King George V signed a Royal Warrant in 1934 allowing the use of the Rampant Lion flag as "a mark of loyalty" because of the forthcoming Jubilee celebrations. The Lord Lyon² officially now takes the view that this permission "related to decorative ebullition", that is, it is permissible to wave the flag at football matches. It is however not allowable to fly the flag without permission, on a flag-pole or from a building. The Lord Lyon once threatened the town councilors of Cumbernauld with an Act passed in 1679 which prescribed the death penalty for mis-use of the royal arms.
So, here's the Cross of St. Andrew.....
And here's the Rampant Lion Flag.....
Very cool indeed!
OK Neil, you can get ready for some serious excitement Bud!
Hey: Here's a message to everyone else.......
Make Damn Sure You Have A Damn Fine Weekend!
Tuesday, September 6, 2005.
Everyone had a nice weekend, we hope? We sure did.
Tomorrow happens to be a special day.....Tomorrow happens to be Bill & Inessa's 3 year wedding anniversary. We can't believe how quick that 3 years has gone by. So......
CONGRATS BILL & INESSA!
Life is treating Bill & Inessa well, we're happy to report....They have been blessed with an addition to their family....Yes, 1+1=3.......we're very happy to say....and....time and life keeps marching on. These guys are wonderful people.....and they're a wonderful couple and family. Way to go guys! :-)
We're in the process of waking-up around here this morning....and a long process it is after a holiday....So.....
Have A Damn Fine Day!
Thursday, September 8, 2005.
We have a chilly, beautiful morning here in Akron Ohio....and what better way to wake our Butts up than a nice couple of jokes?
Here's something we like from Mark R. Thanks Bud!
And here's a nice blonde joke from Dustin. Thanks Bud!
A blonde and a brunette are walking through the shopping mall. The
blonde notices that the brunette's boyfriend is walking out of a
flower shop.
The blonde says "Hey Isn't that your boyfriend over there?" The
brunette says "Yeah it is..!" Blonde: "Aww.. ...and he got you
flowers too... How sweet.."
Brunette: "Yeah, but you know what this means. It means I'm going to
have to be on my back with my legs up in the air for the next week and
a half."
Blonde: (Looking confused) "Why?! Don't you own a vase?!"
I like the reasoning on that one. :-) Typical Western "women".....
...................................
And here's a personal message to Lee in the UK.
We got your phone message mate....We will give you a call after 5:00 your time. We are 5 hours behind you.
.................................................
That's all we know this morning.....More coffee, more tea for Nina.....Hopefully with the jokes and all we'll wake up around here.
Don't forget: Have A Damn Fine Day!
Friday, September 9, 2005.
It's Friday! The week Blew-By again.
Mark R. sent us another funny....Thanks Mark!
Did that help you wake up?
We need more coffee & tea here.....
Hey.......
Have A Damn Fine Weekend!
Monday, September 12, 2005.
Let's start the day with a nice Red-Neck joke from Dustin. Thanks Bud! And....No complaints from you Red-Necks out there! I'm an honorary Red-Neck myself! :-)
After having their 11th child, a Kentucky couple decided that that was
enough (they could not afford a larger double-wide). So the husband
went to his doctor (who also treated mules) and told him that he and
his wife/cousin didn't want to have any more children.
The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that
could fix the problem. The doctor instructed him to go home, get a
cherry bomb, light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to
his ear and count to 10.
The Kentuckian said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest man, but
I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is
going to help me."
So, the couple drove to West Virginia to get a second opinion. The
physician was just about to tell them about the procedure for a
vasectomy when he noticed that they were from Kentucky. This doctor
instead told the man to go home and get a cherry bomb, light it, place
it in a beer can, hold it to his ear and count to 10.
Figuring that both learned physicians couldn't be wrong, the man went
home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can. He held the can up
to his ear and began to count. "1, 2, 3, 4, 5 . . . ." at which point
he paused, placed the beer can between his legs and resumed counting
on his other hand.
Sounds like a plan to me!
And speaking of Red-Necks....One of our favorites, Chris, sent us these photos of a Ford Tri-Motor! Chris works in the business, and he's lucky to have these experiences with these wonderful old airplanes. Thanks for the shots Bud!
Talk about an interesting career!
Ed, Lena and Veronika took a trip to Atlanta recently and sent us a couple photos. Hey guys: You're looking wonderful....Ed...Have you put-on a few pounds?? Well....A good woman tends to do that to us guys. :-) Just look at me!
Great photos guys!
Lena....You're looking more beautiful by the minute sweetheart! Veronika is looking cool too!
That's all we have for this morning, except to say....
Have A Damn Fine Day!
Tuesday, September 13, 2005.
We have a fine morning here in Akron Ohio. Nice and cool.
Jim C. sent us a little something to help us wake up. Thanks Jim! Nina has her Fry-Pan ready Bud! She'll probably use it on both of us when you make your trip up here. :-)
"New Fangled Ergonomical Design."......According to Jim.....
Or....The "Bending-Over-Backwards" design........Both work, right Bud? Seriously!
What else is new around here? Kalvin & Natalia are getting married in two days, on the 15th! We want to see some great Wedding photos guys!
CONGRATS KALVIN & NATALIA!
That's all we have that's new and exciting around here this morning.
Hey: Have A Damn Fine Day!
Thursday, September 15, 2005.
We're having a busy morning here today....but we had to stop by and share this joke with you. Thanks Dustin!
A man goes to see the Rabbi.
"Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it."
The Rabbi asked, "What's wrong?"
The man replied, "My wife is poisoning me."
The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, "How can that be?"
The man then pleads, "I'm telling you, I'm certain she's poisoning me,
what should I do?"
The Rabbi then offers, "Tell you what. Let me talk to her, I'll see
what I can find out and I'll let you know."
A week later the Rabbi calls the man and says, "Well, I spoke to your
wife. I spoke to her on the phone for three hours. You want my
advice?"
The man anxiously says, "Yes."
"Take the poison," says the Rabbi.
Helps to wake my ass up........We're having one of those cool, foggy mornings here today.
Anyway....Have A Damn Fine Day!
Friday, September 16, 2005.
We're getting some much needed rain here this morning....But....It's Friday!
We have a few things going on. First, we want to welcome John to the group! John lives in Las Vegas of all places, he has an interesting career....Not in the gaming industry....And he happens to be a real nice guy. We have spent some time on the phone together, and he's impressed with Nina's accent. I just tease Nina and tell her she sounds like she comes from New York. :-)
Anyway.....
WELCOME JOHN!
OK Bud....We know you have an interesting life, but things are about to get a Damn Sight more exciting!
Paul sent us this funny....Paul happens to be a friend of ours....And yes Bud...She's still available. :-) Thanks!
Can you read that? It says, " Some asshole talking on his Cell Phone got creamed."
We almost got creamed a while back....Some American Bitch almost ended up in our back seat.
Dustin sent us this joke.....Thanks to you Bud!
The local restaurant was so sure that its head waiter was the
strongest man around that it offered a standing $1000 bet: The waiter
would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and then
hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze any more juice
from the lemon would win the money.
Many people had tried over time...weight-lifters, longshoremen, etc.,
but nobody could do it.
One day a scrawny little man came into the restaurant, wearing thick
glasses and a polyester suit. He said in a tiny squeaky voice, "I'd
like to try the bet."
After the laughter died down, the head waiter agreed to let the
fragile man try, grabbed a lemon, and squeezed away. He then handed
the wrinkled remains of the rind to the little man.
The crowd's laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his
fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass. As the crowd
cheered, the waiter paid the $1000 and asked the little man, "What do
you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, construction worker, or
what?"
The man replied, "I work for the IRS."
Now that's a good joke!
Hey! Make sure you........
Have A Damn Fine Weekend!
Monday, September 19, 2005.
We hope you had a nice weekend? We did around here.
We heard the good news that we will be having another Baby in our Chippy Club! So....On a personal note: CONGRATS GUYS!! We won't know for a while yet if it's a boy or a girl....We are waiting for that news!
Dustin sent us this joke....He knew we would all need some help waking up this morning. Thanks Bud!
A woman could never get her husband to do anything around the house.
He would come home from work, sit in front of the TV, eat dinner, and
sit some more - would never do those little household repairs that
most husbands take care of. This frustrated the woman quite a bit.
One day the toilet stopped up. When her husband got home, she said
sweetly, "Honey, the toilet is clogged. Would you look at it?" Her
husband snarled, "What do I look like? The tidy-bowl man?" and sat
down on the sofa.
The next day, the garbage disposal wouldn't work. When her husband got
home, she said, very nicely, "Honey, the disposal won't work. Would
you try to fix it for me?" Once again, he growled, "What do I look
like? Mr. Plumber?"
The next day, the washing machine was on the blink. When her husband
got home, she steeled her courage and said, "Honey, the washer isn't
running. Would you check on it?" And again was met with a snarl, "What
do I look like? The Maytag repairman?
Finally, she had had enough. The next morning, the woman called three
repairmen to fix the toilet, the garbage disposal, and the washer.
When her husband got home, she said, "Honey, I had the repairmen out
today." He frowned, "Well, how much is that
going to cost?" . "Well, honey, they all said I could pay them by
baking them a cake or having sex with them." "Well, what kind of cakes
did you bake them?" he asked.
She smiled. "What do I look like? Betty Crocker?"
OK.....None of us do that....Right? :-) Speaking of jokes.....Sad........But true........
Nina and I were watching a comedian on Saturday night....He was joking about what he called the "pussification" of Western societies. You know, Western "women" don't appreciate when men act like men. And....Some men have been so brainwashed by this attitude that they actually get into the habit of apologizing for the fact that they are men! We've all seen this. It's too bad.....But....Is it any wonder why so many marriages in the West fail?
In other words, the attitudes of too many Western "women" towards men.....Sucks. And I don't mean that in a good way.
That's why we have our male members. Our guys understand that it is possible to find a woman who actually appreciates the fact that she is married to a man. All we men need do is look in the right place to find our wives. That, gentlemen, is what's happening around here.
Hey: Have A Damn Fine Day!
Wednesday, September 21, 2005.
We have a couple things going on this morning.....
First, we want to welcome "Giovanni from Venice" Italy to the group. Giovanni happens to be a typical Italian, which of course means he's a nice guy! We like that around here! He also sent us some photos taken in Venice, and man...what a beautiful city. Amazing! So.....
WELCOME GIOVANNI!
Life is about to get lots more interesting Bud....And we're excited about working with you!
Dustin sent us this joke....Which we really appreciate this morning. Thanks Bud!
A woman is in bed with her lover who also happens to be her husband's
best friend. They had sex for hours, and afterwards, while they're
just laying there, the phone rings.
Since it is the woman's house, she picks up the receiver. Her lover
looks over at her and listens, only hearing her side of the
conversation... She is speaking in a cheery voice) "Hello? Oh, hi. I'm
so glad that you called. Really? That's wonderful. I am so happy for
you. That sounds terrific. Great! Thanks. Okay. Bye bye."
She hangs up the telephone and her lover asks, "Who was that?"
"Oh" she replies, "that was my husband telling me all about the
wonderful time he's having on his fishing trip with you."
Nina and I got a real kick out of that Dustin! :-)
That's about all we know here this morning.....except....
Have A Damn Fine Day!
Thursday, September 22, 2005.
Well, we want to wish everyone down on the Gulf Coast good luck this weekend. We're hoping that Rita will lose some steam for you guys down there. Enough is enough already!
Dustin must have known that we would be having a tuff time waking up this morning, so he sent us this to get us going. Thanks Bud!
A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The
first of the twosome teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed
directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.
The ball hit one of the men, and he immediately clasped his hands
together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around
in evident agony.
The woman rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize.
"Please allow me to help. I'm a physical therapist and I know I could
relieve your pain if you'd allow me," she told him earnestly.
"Ummph, oooh, nnooo, I'll be alright. I'll be fine in a few minutes,"
he replied breathlessly as he remained in the fetal position still
clasping his hands together in his groin.
But she persisted, and he finally allowed her to help him. She gently
took his hands away and laid them to the side, she loosened his pants,
and she put her hands inside. She began to massage him. She then asked
him "How does that feel?"
He replied "It feels great, but my thumb still hurts like hell."
That's too funny! :-)
Hey! Have A Damn Fine Day!
Friday, September 23, 2005.
Rita will hit the Gulf Coast early tomorrow, and we pray everyone down in that area will be OK. We also pray that Rita will lose her power before she hits land.
And a special note to Alan & Tanya. Actually, this note is to your family....Alan, Tanya, and Egor & Tanya's new baby Boxy ( golden retriever pup)
We got your message, be safe, be safe on the roads, and please give us a call when you can. Alan & Tanya are one of our couples who live in Sulphur, Louisiana, they got word to us that they have evacuated. GODSPEED Alan & Tanya!
To everyone:
Have A Damn Fine....And Damn Safe....Weekend!
Sunday, September 25, 2005.
We're stopping by here this morning for a special reason. What's that, you ask? Well....Jake & Zhanna got their approval! It won't be long now till Jake & Zhanna are together....and it won't be long till we'll be having a Chippy Party! Way to go Jake & Zhanna! Or....as we say around here.....
CONGRATS JAKE & ZHANNA!
Jake is in a great mood today as we can imagine, and Zhanna is on Cloud 9! With all the problems going on in this crazy world....it's nice to see some real happiness!
Hey! Don't forget.....
Have A Damn Fine Day!
Monday, September 26, 2005.
We have rain here this morning from what's left from Rita, and I can't get my ass to wake up. My usual Monday morning.....More coffee should help, and this nice joke from Dustin. Thanks Bud!
A gynecologist was getting sick of his job and decided that he needed
a career change. He'd always enjoyed tinkering with engines so thought
he'd become a mechanic.
So he went along to mechanics school and the final test was to strip
the engine completely and reassemble it - obviously back into perfect
working order.
So our gynecologist friend did the test and anxiously awaited the
result. The day he received the results he got quite a surprise, he
got 150%! He quickly phoned the instructor and queried about the mark.
The instructor said "No No, that's right. First I gave you 50% for
stripping down the engine - a very thorough job. Next I gave you 50%
for reassembling it - a fantastic job really, and then I gave you a
50% bonus for doing it all through the muffler."
Hey! Have Yourself A Damn Fine Day!
Tuesday, September 27, 2005.
We have a crisp, chilly morning here in Akron Ohio. Fall is in the air, and it won't be long till we start getting all the Fall colors on the trees. Fall is a beautiful time of year here.
We want to welcome Paul to the group today! Paul happens to be a nice guy, like all our guys, and we're looking forward to working with him! Paul will not be enjoying any Fall colors tho, due to the fact that he lives in Greece! Paul lives in an absolutely stunning area.... we figure he won't miss the Fall colors we get here too much. So.....
WELCOME PAUL!
OK Paul, as you know....Life is about to get lots more exciting Bud!
Dustin sent us yet another nice joke....we can't imagine where he comes-up with all these jokes, but we sure appreciate him sending them along. Thanks Dustin!
A guy was one of the lucky passengers on board a Northwest Airlines
flight to Boston during our recent hurricane "Bob."
The captain did his best to skirt the edge of the storm, but it was a
pretty rough ride just the same - rough enough that the flight
attendants were ordered to strap themselves into their seats for about
half an hour, and many of the passengers were putting the little
plastic-lined bags in their seat pockets to good use.
When the turbulence finally abated, the flight attendants unbuckled
themselves, and the captain's voice came on over the intercom:
"Well, folks, that was quite some ride, wasn't it? But we came through
it fine, just the way we always do, and I'm happy to report that it
looks like the remainder of our trip should be much calmer. On behalf
of myself and today's flight crew, I'd like to thank you very much for
your calmness and cooperation, and extend our best wishes for a
pleasant stay in Boston."
After a short pause and several clicks, we heard: "Jesus Christ...
Whatta bitchin' ride! Boy - I sure could use a cup of good strong
coffee and a blow job, right about now!"
As a stricken stewardess dashed up the aisle to the cabin to inform
the captain that his intercom was still on, one of the passengers
called after her:
"Don't forget the coffee!"
You understand we always try to be "politically correct" around here....we wouldn't want to offend anyone. :-)
Hey! Have A Damn Fine Day!
Thursday, September 29, 2005.
We have rain here in Akron Ohio this morning, it's one of those mornings where I need plenty of coffee....and a good joke to get my Butt-In-Gear. Tom to the rescue with this joke....and the coffee is brewing.....Thanks Tom!
Patrick, who was vacationing in the Bahamas couldn't seem to make it with
any of the girls. So he asked the local lifeguard for some advice.
"Mate, it's obvious," says the lifeguard, "you're wearing them old baggy
swimming trunks that make ya look like an old geezer. They're years outta
style. Your best bet is to grab yourself a pair of Speedos - about two
sizes too small - and drop a fist-sized potato down inside 'em. I'm
tellin' ya man... you'll have all the babes ya want!"
The following weekend, Patrick hits the beach with his spanking new tight
Speedos, and his fist-sized potato. Everybody on the beach was disgusted
as he walked by, covering their faces, turning away, laughing, looking
sick!
So he went back to the lifeguard again and asked him, "What's wrong now?"
"Damn, Mate!" said the lifeguard, "The potato goes in front!!"
How's that for a mental-picture this morning!
And speaking of Tom, we have some good news! Tom's Elena has her Warsaw interview on Monday! It won't be long now till Tom & Elena are together here in the USA! Hey Tom & Elena: We're excited for you guys, and we're hoping you guys can make the trip out here for a nice Chippy Party! So....
CONGRATS TOM & ELENA!
You guys make a wonderful couple!
That's all we have going-on here this morning....The coffee is almost done...so I guess Nina will make me get to work. Too bad.....But.....Don't forget.....Make sure you............
Have A Damn Fine Day!
Friday, September 30, 2005.
It's Friday again, so fast?? The week really blew-by. Mark R. sent us this funny, Thanks Bud!
Here's our attempt at sending all you guys out there some good Karma:
HAVE YOURSELF A DAMN FINE WEEKEND!