A Belarus Bride

We are a personal service introduction and marriage agency helping men who seek a beautiful Russian woman from Belarus to be their bride.

Just for your information, we use the terms Belarus girls, Russian girls, Russian women, and Belarus women interchangeably. All Belarus women are Russian women. Belarus means "White Russia." It's an old name from the Czarist times.

January, 2005 Newsletter Archive.

We've got members all over the place!

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Saturday, January 1, 2005.

Happy New Year!

Rob & Luda are Engaged, and here they are with our Alex & Luda. This is at Alex & Luda's apartment, having a party.

What a great couple! We love seeing couples in love!

People in love look wonderful!

It's a bit cold in Vitebsk....but somehow we think Rob & Luda are plenty warm enough. :-)

Congrats to Rob & Luda! Way to go guys! Beautiful Russian woman you got there Bud!

Hey! Have A Damn Fine Day!

We hope you didn't party too much on New Year's Eve??

Monday, January 3, 2005.

We had one Damn Fine Weekend, and yesterday was especially nice. Jeff and Malc were here....we had a nice time getting to know each other. Thanks for making the trip up here guys!

Here's a few photos.....

Malc, your's truly, and Jeff.....

Nina likes to get in between two good look'in guys....

Nina and I like to give our guys the "patience test"...You know...Bring out the photo albums. Lucky for us, Jaff and Malc are a couple of good guys.

We must have solved some big question here....

Like we said....We had one Damn Fine Time together!

Thanks again for making the trip up here guys! Have a great trip back to Wales!

Here's some more good news: Bob called us yesterday, his Elena has her Warsaw interview on January 20. Our Bud Pat's Natalia has her Warsaw interview on January 25. Looks like we will be having a serious get-together here sometime in Feb. or March! New beautiful Russian brides on the way!

CONGRATS BOB & ELENA, AND PAT & NATALIA!

Hey! Have Yourself A Damn Fine Day!

Wednesday, January 5, 2005.

We dodged a bullet here this morning....all we got was the rain...the ice & snow is all just a bit north of us. For now, anyway...

Keith G. sent us this funny.....Thanks Bud!

Subject: PARROT

A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch.
It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, "Jeesh, I wonder what
happened to this Parrot?"
The parrot says, "I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot."
"Holy crap," the guy replies. "You actually understood and answered me!"
"I got every word," says the parrot. "I happen to be a highly intelligent
thoroughly educated bird."
"Oh yeah?" the guy asks, "Then answer this -- how do you hang onto your
perch without any feet?"
"Well," the parrot says, "this is very embarrassing but since you asked,
I wrap my weenie around this wooden bar like a little hook. You can't see it
because of my feathers."
"Wow," says the guy. "You really can understand and speak English can't you?"
"Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse with
reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics, religion, sports,
physics, philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology. You really
ought to buy me. I'd be a great companion."
The guy looks at the $200 price tag. "Sorry, but I just can't afford that"
"Pssssssst," says the parrot, "I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody wants
me cause I don't have any feet. You can probably get me for $20, just make
the guy an offer!"
The guy offers $20 and walks out with the parrot. Weeks go by. The parrot
is sensational. He has a great sense of humor, he's interesting, he's a
great pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes, and he's
insightful. The guy is delighted.
One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot goes,
"psssssssssssst,"
and motions him over with one wing. "I don't know if I should tell you this
or not, but it's about your wife and the postman."
"What are you talking about?" asks the guy.
"When the postman delivered the mail today, your wife greeted him at the
door in a sheer black nightie and kissed him passionately."
"WHAT???" the guy asks incredulously. "THEN what happened?"
"Well, then the postman came into the house and lifted up her nightie
and began petting her all over," reported the parrot.
"Oh No!," he exclaims. "Then what?"
"Then he lifted up the nightie, got down on his knees and began to kiss her
all over, starting with her breasts and slowly going down..."
"WELL," demands the frantic guy, "THEN WHAT HAPPENED?"
"Damned if I know. I got a hard-on and fell off my perch!" --

I guess any of you guys out there who made the mistake of getting married to a "Western Type" woman needs to invest in a Parrot!

Hey! Have A Damn Fine Day!

Thursday, January 6, 2005.

Today happens to be a special day. Our members know why that is....but in case you don't....

Today is Russian Christmas Eve!

Tomorrow is Russian Christmas!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

We wish everyone a wonderful day!

Friday, January 7, 2005.

Merry Christmas!

We called Don & Irina, and Rob & Luda today in Vitebsk to wish them a Very Merry Christmas. We also called Dave & Valentina, but they must have been out visiting. It was nice speaking with our engaged couples....and they all agreed with our opinion that it's much nicer being with the person you love over the holidays than anything else we can imagine! Don, Rob and Dave will all be leaving Vitebsk in the next few days...and we wish all these guys a good and safe trip back home.

We wish everyone a Merry Russian Christmas today, and a very nice weekend!

Tuesday, January 11, 2005.

Let's start today with some nice announcements. First of all, Niels called us yesterday from Denmark. He and his Marina will be getting married in April.

CONGRATS NIELS & MARINA!

Hey Niels! Please send us some nice wedding photos, and we'll induct you guys into the Chippy Club!

Niels and Marina are two wonderful people, together they make a wonderful couple!

We also spoke with Don yesterday, he made it back from Vitebsk fine, but just a little tired. He and his Irina are another wonderful couple, and we can't wait till Irina gets here.

Way to go Don & Irina!

Hey Don! Send us some more photos when you get a chance, we're all looking forward to those! And...Nina will give your Irina a call.

We're waiting to hear from Rob, he got home very late last night. He had a wonderful time in Vitebsk with his Luda, they're engaged....

Way to go Rob & Luda!

Hey Rob! Give us a call when you wake up... Please! :-)

And on another note: Welcome back Jake! Your Zhanna has been waiting patiently! Well....Not exactly patiently! :-)

Hey! Have A Damn Fine Day!

Thursday, January 13, 2005.

Happy New Year! Yep....Today is the old calendar Russian New Year. This is the year of the Rooster...according to the Chinese calendar...so all you guys out there born in the year of the Rooster...This will be your year!

OK....Rob called us, he had a good trip home, and all is well except for the usual jet-lag. He and his Luda of course are Engaged, and Rob promised to send us some more photos as soon as he can. Welcome back Rob!

Kevin called us last night, and Kevin & Irina got their approval!

CONGRATS KEVIN & IRINA!

It won't be too long now before Irina is here, and we're looking forward to our get-together here in Akron! Way to go Guys!

We want to welcome Mike to the group today. Mike is a nice guy, we know from our phone conversations, he lives in a nice, warm part of the USA, and Nina and I are looking forward to our working together and getting to know each other better. So.....

WELCOME MIKE!

Hey Bud! This last holiday season is the last one you will be spending alone!

Malc and Jeff were here with us right after our New Year, we want to thank both those guys again for making the time to come up here and visit with us. We had a blast. Malc is from Wales, and Jeff works there with Malc. Anyway, Malc sent us a few gifts....and talk about cool....a Pint mug and half for me, a real flag of Wales, and a Welch doll for Nina dressed in the traditional Welsh dress.

Malc....Thanks Bud! We've got the flag up already....and I plan on testing that Pint mug just as soon as I can! :-)

Keith G. sent us this joke....Thanks Bud!

What Religion is Your Bra?
A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's and shyly walked up to
the woman  behind the counter and said, "I'd like to buy a bra for my wife.
What type of bra?" asked thee clerk. Type?" inquires the man, "There's more
than one type? Look around," said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras
in every shape, size, color and material imaginable.  Actually, even with
all of this variety, there are really only four types of bras to choose
from. Relieved, the man asked about the types. The saleslady replied: There
are the Catholic, the Salvation Army, the Presbyterian, and the Baptist
types.  Which one would you prefer? Now totally befuddled, the man asked
about the differences between them. The Saleslady responded, "It is all
really quite simple...
The Catholic type supports the masses. The Salvation Army type lifts the
fallen, The Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright, and The
Baptist makes mountains out of mole hills.
Extra Info:
Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, and H are the letters
used to define bra sizes? If you have wondered why, but couldn't figure out
what the letters
stood for, it is about time you became informed!
(A} Almost Boobs...
{B} Barely there.
{C} Can't Complain!
{D} Dang!
{DD} Double dang!
{E} Enormous!
{F} Fake.
{G} Get a Reduction.
{H} Help me, I've fallen down and can't get up!

This must be the "DD"...Double Dang!

I gotta get back to the links!

Hey! Have A Damn Fine Day!

Friday, January 14, 2005.

We're back in the deep freeze over here in Akron, we had a couple days of spring. We got outside to enjoy the 70 degrees yesterday....And of course this morning it's about 20 degrees. Strange weather.

We want to welcome Jeff to the group today. Jeff is another nice guy who happens to live in the south....we'll have to visit him for a month or two. Hope you have some extra room Bud! :-)

So.....

WELCOME JEFF!

Life is about to get a lot more interesting Bud!

Here's something that's too cool, thanks to our wonderful couple Bill & Valya:

Hello Nina & Greg,

Greetings from a very wet Southern California!  My area experienced the
wettest two week period in recorded local history.  Lots of rain but no real
damage to our home.  The La Conchita area, where several people died in a
mudslide, is some miles north of us, near Santa Barbara.

Finally it is official.  A Belarus Bride is the first marriage agency to
advertise in outer space.  The Deep Impact spaceship was launched yesterday
from Cape Canaveral. As you might remember (your May or June 2003
newsletter), I signed up A Belarus Bride to be included on the compact disc
that will be carried into space by the Deep Impact space mission.  On July
4, 2005, a portion of the space ship (incuding the compact disc) will be
deliberately crashed into the Comet Tempel 1.  Just think, someday in the
future, aliens could be contacting you for their own Belarussian Bride!!!!
See the news story at www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6817717

Wishing you and your family a GREAT DAY!          

Bill & Valya

DEEP IMPACT MISSION
First Look Inside a Comet Participation Certificate Presented to A Belarus Bride On May 13, 2003

Thank you for your participation in the Deep Impact Discovery Mission to Comet Tempel 1. A compact disc bearing your name will be mounted on the impactor spacecraft that will collide with Tempel 1 making this the first mission ever to look deep inside a comet.

You are now part of the future discovery of clues about the beginning of our solar system as your name makes a Deep Impact!

We're looking forward to our first "off-world" member....we'll post his photos as soon as we can. :-)

Thanks Bill & Valya!!

Hey Everyone! Make Damn Sure You Have A Damn Fine Weekend!

Saturday, January 15, 2005.

We have some more photos of our engaged couples in Vitebsk....these were taken during the holidays.

Here's another shot of Rob & Luda, we just had to post this photo!

Don't they look great? Way to go Rob & Luda!

And speaking of wonderful couples, here's the photos of Dave & Valya. It looks like we caught Dave in the act of proposing? Dave will soon be back in New Zealand...we wish you a good trip Bud!

Valya said "YES!"

Dave & Valya were celebrating the holidays with our Alex & Luda....and of course they were all celebrating Dave & Valya's Engagement. Way to go Dave & Valya! Beautiful Russian woman you got there Bud!

Dave, Valya, Luda and Alex. We wish we could have been there!

It's nice....people together in love.

We're having a nice weekend....Hope you are too!

Monday, January 17, 2005.

We're freezing our butt's off here this morning....The good news is today is MLK day here in the USA....So...We wish everyone a nice day today!

How about a nice joke for everyone who has to get outside in the cold today.....Mark L. sent us this a while ago....Thanks Mark & Olga!

New Drugs Just for Western Women

B U Y A G R A

Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping.
Increases potency, duration and credit limit of spending spree.

D A M N I T O L

Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.

E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N

Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of
how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.

P E P T O B I M B O

Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an
evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence and prevents conception.

D U M B E R O L

When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in
enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.

F L I P I T O R

Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge
to flip off other drivers.

M E N I C I L L I N

Potent anti-boy-otic for older women.  Increases resistance to such lethal
lines as, "You make me want to be a better person ... Can we get naked now?"

J A C K A S S P I R I N

Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday,
anniversary or phone number.

A N T I - T A L K S I D E N T

A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share
their lifestories with total strangers in elevators.

N A G A M E N T

When administered to a husband, provides the same irritation level as
nagging him all weekend, saving the wife the time and trouble of doing it herself.

Hey! Have A Damn Fine Day!

Tuesday, January 18, 2005.

Clint & Maryna sent us a nice joke this morning, we thought we might share the laughs. Thanks Guys!

The price is too high!!!!!

A guy walking down the street sees a woman with
perfect breasts. He says to her, "Hey miss, would you
let me bite your breasts for $100 dollars?"

"Are you nuts? !!" she replies, and keeps walking
away.

He turns around, runs around the block and gets to the
corner before she does. "Would you let me bite your
breasts for $1,000 dollars?" he asks again.

"Listen you; I'm not that kind of woman! Got it? Go
Away !!"

So the guy runs around the next block and faces her
again. "Would you let me bite your breasts just once
for $10,000 dollars?"

She thinks about it for a while and says, "Hmm,
$10,000 dollars, eh? Ok, just once, but not here.
Let's go to that dark alley over there."

So they go into the alley, where she takes off her
blouse to reveal the most perfect breasts in the
world. As soon as he sees them, he grabs them and
starts caressing them, fondling them slowly, kissing
them, licking them, burying his face in them, but not
biting them.

The woman finally gets annoyed and asks, "Well? Are
you gonna bite them or not?"

"Nah", he replies. "Costs too much."

It's so Damn cold here today.....it's just making us dream about Spring.....or...moving to California...

Clint & Maryna sent us this little note along with the joke.....got us to thinking....

Hi Greg and Nina,
 Maryna and I just returned home from a trip to Disneyland. We're sorry to hear about your frozen butts. It doesn't sound like much fun. It was 79 today at Disneyland and the rain and snow of a couple weeks ago is a distant memory. I think you should seriously consider moving to California for our nice weather. We have the four seasons. Earthquakes, fires, mudslides and some nice temperatures like today.
 Have fun getting toasty warm together.
 Your friends,
 Maryna and Clint

Well Guys...We can't move to California, but we can do the "getting toasty warm together" part. :-)

We want to welcome Joe to the group today. Joe is a real nice guy, we happen to know that for a fact, and he's another Ohio man! We're not too far from each other, which means Joe is another poor guy who's freezing his butt off now! Well, Joe....we'll soon get you to the point of "getting toasty warm together" too Bud! :-) Life will get real interesting real soon Bud!

So.....

WELCOME JOE!

On another interesting note....We have lots of holidays in January of course, and here's one most people never heard of.

January 25 happens to be "Tatiana's Day" in Belarus. According to Nina..."It is a merry holiday celebrated by the students and it's the Angel's day for all the girls with the name Tatiana."

OK....Works for me. If your ladie's name happens to be Tatiana, this is a "heads-up" for you.

We wish everyone A Damn Fine Day...and for all of you guys who don't live in California.... like us....Stay warm!

Thursday, January 20, 2005.

Ed B. sent us this....He feels sorry for all us guys who live in the "Winter Wonderland." Thanks Bud! Ed happens to work in the Medical field...And he happens to have a cool sense of humor:

Hillbilly Medical Terms:

Benign......................What you be after you be eight.
Bacteria...................Back door to cafeteria.
Barium.....................What doctors do when patients die.
Cesarean Section....A neighborhood in Rome.
Catscan..................Searching for Kitty.
Cauterize................Made eye contact with her.
Colic.......................A sheep dog.
Coma.......................A punctuation mark.
D&C........................Where Washington is.
Dilate......................To live long.
Enema.....................Not a friend.
Fester.....................Quicker than someone else.
Fibula......................A small lie.
G.I.Series................World Series of military baseball.
Hangnail..................What you hang your coat on.
Impotent.................Distinguished, well known.
Labor Pain..............Getting hurt at work.
Medical Staff.........A Doctor's cane.
Morbid....................A higher offer than I bid.
Nitrates..................Cheaper than day rates.
Node.......................I knew it.
Outpatient.............A person who has fainted.
Pap Smear...............A fatherhood test.
Pelvis......................Second cousin to Elvis.
Post Operative.......A letter carrier.
Recovery Room......Place to do upholstery.
Rectum..................Damn near killed him.
Secretion...............Hiding something
Seizure...................Roman emperor.
Tablet....................A small table.
Terminal Illness......Getting sick at the airport.
Tumor....................More than one.
Urine.....................Opposite of mine.
Varicose.................Near by/close by.

It won't be long before Bob's Elena and Pat's Natalia are here in the USA....and what's also cool is Elena and Natalia will be on the same flight. All friends, and two wonderful couples.

It also won't be long now...Jeff will be on his way to Vitebsk, and after him Ed, and then Mark. Lots going on around here.

It's Thursday, tomorrow is Friday....things are looking up.

Hey! Have A Damn Fine Day!

Friday, January 21, 2005.

Don & Irina sent us these great photos of their time together in Belarus during the holidays. It won't be too long before Don & Irina are here together in the USA. Thanks for the photos guys!

This is in Minsk: Talk about a happy couple!

Taking a nice stroll around Minsk:

Merry Christmas to our Engaged couple!

At one of our favorite Cafe's in Vitebsk, the Tractir Cafe:

This was taken at our place, Don & Irina had a little Christmas party

with Valentina. Thanks Don & Irina! :-)

Don & Irina are a great looking couple....That's what happens when two nice people fall in love.

Hey! Make Damn Sure You Have A Damn Fine Weekend!

Saturday, January 22, 2006.

Nina and I woke up this morning....got our tea & coffee...and we were having a discussion about why people would choose to live in places like California...Florida...Arizona and so on.....

When they could instead live in the beautiful state of Ohio......

So we headed-out....thinking of enjoying our tea & coffee and the beautifuil morning sunshine.........perhaps plant a few flowers.....

oh......now we understand.....

So instead.....we got the Belarus Bride Snow Crew working....

And working.....

And working.....

So much for our enjoying the nice morning sunshine.......

Well....Have A Damn Fine Weekend....and to you guys who live in the South.....we want you to promise not to laugh too much while we're on the phone! :-)

Wednesday, January 26, 2005.

We have 3 guys in Vitebsk at this moment, and we hear that everyone's doing just fine. Jason, Kalvin and Ed. We hope you guys remember to come up for air once in a while!

Jeff will be on the plane to Vitebsk on Friday....Getting excited Bud? :-)

Bob & Elena, and Pat & Natalia got their K-1 visas a couple days ago, and Elena and Natalia will be here in the USA this weekend. Same flight! We're looking forward to some interesting phone calls this weekend.

CONGRATS BOB & ELENA....CONGRATS PAT & NATALIA!

Hey! Have A Damn Fine Day!

Thursday, January 27, 2005.

It's Damn cold here this morning! Well, Jake sent us a couple "one-liners" to help us get our asses up & running. Thanks Jake!

"A guy knows he's in love when he loses interest in
his car for a couple of day's." Tim Allen

"A man in love is incomplete until he has married.
Then he's finished." Zsa Zsa Gabor

Stay warm....All you guys who live in the colder areas around the planet....And....Have A Damn Fine Day!

Friday, January 28, 2005.

It's Friday morning, it's cold as can be...the coffee has been brewing for a while...Life is good! Well....For January in Ohio anyway.....

Mark & Olga sent us this a while ago....Thanks Guys!

Hard to believe, but another year has passed. Once again, it's time for
the Darwin Award Nominees. The Darwin's are awarded every year to the
persons who died in the most stupid manner, thereby removing
themselves from the gene pool.

THE WINNER!!!: [Arkansas Democrat Gazette]:
Two local men were injured when their pickup truck left the road and
struck a tree near Cotton Patch on State Highway 38 early Monday.
Woodruff County deputy Dovey Snyder reported the accident shortly after
midnight Monday. Thurston Poole, 33, of Des Arc, and Billy Ray Wallis,
38, of Little Rock, were returning to Des Arc after a frog digging trip
on an overcast Sunday night when Poole's pickup truck headlights
malfunctioned. The two men concluded that the headlight fuse on the
older-model truck had burned out. As a replacement fuse was not
available, Wallis noticed that the 22 caliber bullet from his pistol
fit perfectly into the fuse box next to the steering-wheel column. Upon
inserting the bullet, the headlights again began to operate properly
and the two men proceeded on eastbound toward the White River Bridge.
After traveling approximately 20 miles, and just before crossing the
river, the bullet apparently overheated, discharged, and struck Poole
in the testicles. The vehicle swerved sharply right, exiting the
pavement, and striking a tree. Poole suffered only minor cuts and
abrasions from the accident, but will require extensive surgery to
repair the damage to his testicles, which will never operate as
intended. Wallis sustained a broken clavicle...and was treated and
released. "Thank God we weren't on that bridge when Thurston shot his balls off, or we might both be dead,"
stated Wallis. "I've been a trooper for 10 years in this part of the
world, but this is a first for me. I can't believe that those two would
admit how this accident happened," said Snyder. Upon being notified of
the wreck, Lavinia (Poole's wife) asked how many frogs the boys had
caught and did anyone get them from the truck??? Though Poole and
Wallis did not die as a result of their misadventure as normally
required by Darwin Award Official Rules, it can be argued that Poole
DID, in fact, effectively remove himself from the gene pool...)

I hate when that shit happens.

Hey! Be careful out there....And....Have A Damn Fine Weekend!

Monday, January 31, 2005.

Well, we spoke with Bob & Elena, and Pat & Natalia this weekend, everyone's doing just fine. Elena and Natalia made it here on the flights without any problems. They're a bit jet-lagged, but other than that....all is well. Pat & Natalia will be getting married on Feb. 7, and Bob & Elena will be....We don't know yet but they will let us know.

OK guys.....We want to see some great photos of your jet-lagged ladies!

Ed B. sent us this....Just what we need on this COLD Winter morning....Thanks Ed!

Top five smart ass answers for 2004

Smart Ass Answer #5:

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.
As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he
opened his trench coat and flashed her.
Without missing a beat....she said, "Sir, I need to see your
ticket not your stub."

Smart Ass Answer #4:

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store,
but she couldn't find one big enough for her family.
She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

Smart Ass Answer #3:

The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for
speeding rolled down his window.
"I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid replied,
"Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could,"
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on
his way without a ticket.

Smart Ass Answer #2:

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes
up that reads, "Low Bridge Ahead."
Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he
gets stuck under the bridge.
Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up.
The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver,
puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?"
The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge
and ran out of gas,"

AND NOW........FOR .................THE.......... #1 SMART ASS ANSWER OF
THE YEAR 2004........................

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now,
class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow.
I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness,
or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses
whatsoever!" A smart ass
guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked,
"What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete
and utter sexual exhaustion?"
The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When
silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student,
shakes her head and sweetly says.........
"Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."

A reminder for all you guys....If you want to get your lady a gift for Valentine's Day, we need to know real soon.

Have A Damn Fine Day...Can you believe it's the last day of January!